Just one big bad day :(

          Well i don't even no where to start..I woke up on the wrong side of the bed..I was just sooo irritated and pissy ass so as my eyes opened..I woke up missing my husband more than ever i think..Its been a week and 1 day since ive acctually talked to him..And its sooo hard cause not seeing him already sucks talking to him is what kept me positive..I mean hes still doing tht qualification training thing and its like the 2nd part and its suppose to be alot harder than the first half i guess i never realized i wasnt gonna beable to talk to him like im use too.. Im going nuts..I more depressed than ever..Its like all day i just wanted to curl up in a ball and just cry..My mind goes willd..Its like some days i worry tht all this distance is gnna make him love me less..I doubt it but its ran thru my head a time or two..And at the same time my love for him grows deeper and deeper as the days,the weeks,and the months goo by..I think wat elses makes this worce is he deploy in december and itll be our first deployment and im not sure how im gnna take our how ne of it really works..I dont even talk to him about it cause it scares me..I think of everything that could go wrng..He keeps telling me to thimk about the money lol but id rather have kno money at all living in a box just so i didnt have to see him go..But i try staying strong and not telling him how worried i really am..I need to stay strong so he can stay strong he doesnt need to worry bout me..Its funny i just realixe today weve been married 5 mnths and ive seen him 3 weeks the whole time..Im selfish really sometimes i dnt think the army deserves him..We both joke around saying we dnt want him playing soldier anymore..I want him to myself..He plans on finsihing his 3 yrs and being done and i honestly cant wait..Hes mentions reinlisting sometimes but others the thought of discust him i dont want him too..And maybe as time goes on ill change my mind but i dont think it will..Im still getting use to the wayu things go and somethings are sooo ridiculous..Getting to germany is the most confusing i really need help to understand it and maybe how to go about things to rush the process if any body could help id greatly appreciate it..Cause the feeling of going at this alone is not a good one..I love my husband with all my heart hes the best thing that ever happened to me he showed me tht not all guys are the same and hes been there all along it just took us awhile to realize i love you baby <3