One thing after another :(

Sooo its been awhile since ive updated..My husband and i hve decided it would be best if i stayed here at home..Which means no germany..His leader are someone has advised him that it would be best..He leaves in december for afganastan for 12 mnths but will be bak in november and then 3 more mnths in germnay then hes gonna be sent back to the states where he will spend the remainder of his time till his contract his up..If i was to go there now hes have to extend his contract which neither of us want..Hes got about 2 and half years are so left till hes done..And i feel selfish but i honestly cant wait..In 14 days are soo we will have been married 6 months and ive seen him 3 weeks out of it..It sucks knoing hes gnna be gone almost the first whole 2 yrs of our marriage and only seeinge hime a few weeks here and there till hes bak in the states..Its sooo hard and i totally adore the wives who have put up with it for years your prolly strongest people ever..And i try to be tht strong for him and me but he wants to be home with me just as much as i want him home..I mean i kno theres many army wives out there but i feel totally alone in this and no one really knos wat im going thru in my family and my friends theyve never been thru it and i love them all for trying i mean my husband hes sooos troungand he holds it all in sometimes i think its all soo easy for him...But i kno hes just being strong for e..Why cant i be that strong??I want sooo badly just to see his face and touch it just sooo new it wasnt a dream and feels his arms around me and know its not a dream..I love and hate thoses dreams at that same time waking up and not acctually having him there is the worst ever..And i went to my uncel and wedding ovr the weekend and it was sooo hard i thought about our wedding i remebered everything and they played our wedding song and i lost it i wanted him ther sooo badly tht it hurt...I try to stay bust my friends take me well my bestfriend and my sister but i feel bad for going out without him but my lil circle trys to help..And this blog is everywhere and soo not organized im taliking about everything at once...I need the strenght that so many of theses amzaingly strong army wives have..I need it so i can be strong for him..I love and miss him more then anything in the world xoxoxo <3