Deployment blues :(

Well my husband is on his way to afghanistan as we speak..Ive been a mess.But trying so hard to keep busy..Does the pain of them leaving ever go away..Im pretty upset cause he deployed from germany and i had to come bak home so i was unable to see him off..It really hurts knoing he had to leave with out me being there..As an army wife i feel like thats part of our duty..And i couldnt fullfill that one.But were hoping that he gets his leave in june i cant wait to see him..I feel empty without him..It was like a part of me left with him wen he left :(..I just pray to god that he keeps my husband safe and he comes home safe and sound soo.

One thing after another :(

Sooo its been awhile since ive updated..My husband and i hve decided it would be best if i stayed here at home..Which means no germany..His leader are someone has advised him that it would be best..He leaves in december for afganastan for 12 mnths but will be bak in november and then 3 more mnths in germnay then hes gonna be sent back to the states where he will spend the remainder of his time till his contract his up..If i was to go there now hes have to extend his contract which neither of us want..Hes got about 2 and half years are so left till hes done..And i feel selfish but i honestly cant wait..In 14 days are soo we will have been married 6 months and ive seen him 3 weeks out of it..It sucks knoing hes gnna be gone almost the first whole 2 yrs of our marriage and only seeinge hime a few weeks here and there till hes bak in the states..Its sooo hard and i totally adore the wives who have put up with it for years your prolly strongest people ever..And i try to be tht strong for him and me but he wants to be home with me just as much as i want him home..I mean i kno theres many army wives out there but i feel totally alone in this and no one really knos wat im going thru in my family and my friends theyve never been thru it and i love them all for trying i mean my husband hes sooos troungand he holds it all in sometimes i think its all soo easy for him...But i kno hes just being strong for e..Why cant i be that strong??I want sooo badly just to see his face and touch it just sooo new it wasnt a dream and feels his arms around me and know its not a dream..I love and hate thoses dreams at that same time waking up and not acctually having him there is the worst ever..And i went to my uncel and wedding ovr the weekend and it was sooo hard i thought about our wedding i remebered everything and they played our wedding song and i lost it i wanted him ther sooo badly tht it hurt...I try to stay bust my friends take me well my bestfriend and my sister but i feel bad for going out without him but my lil circle trys to help..And this blog is everywhere and soo not organized im taliking about everything at once...I need the strenght that so many of theses amzaingly strong army wives have..I need it so i can be strong for him..I love and miss him more then anything in the world xoxoxo <3

Just one big bad day :(

          Well i don't even no where to start..I woke up on the wrong side of the bed..I was just sooo irritated and pissy ass so as my eyes opened..I woke up missing my husband more than ever i think..Its been a week and 1 day since ive acctually talked to him..And its sooo hard cause not seeing him already sucks talking to him is what kept me positive..I mean hes still doing tht qualification training thing and its like the 2nd part and its suppose to be alot harder than the first half i guess i never realized i wasnt gonna beable to talk to him like im use too.. Im going nuts..I more depressed than ever..Its like all day i just wanted to curl up in a ball and just cry..My mind goes willd..Its like some days i worry tht all this distance is gnna make him love me less..I doubt it but its ran thru my head a time or two..And at the same time my love for him grows deeper and deeper as the days,the weeks,and the months goo by..I think wat elses makes this worce is he deploy in december and itll be our first deployment and im not sure how im gnna take our how ne of it really works..I dont even talk to him about it cause it scares me..I think of everything that could go wrng..He keeps telling me to thimk about the money lol but id rather have kno money at all living in a box just so i didnt have to see him go..But i try staying strong and not telling him how worried i really am..I need to stay strong so he can stay strong he doesnt need to worry bout me..Its funny i just realixe today weve been married 5 mnths and ive seen him 3 weeks the whole time..Im selfish really sometimes i dnt think the army deserves him..We both joke around saying we dnt want him playing soldier anymore..I want him to myself..He plans on finsihing his 3 yrs and being done and i honestly cant wait..Hes mentions reinlisting sometimes but others the thought of discust him i dont want him too..And maybe as time goes on ill change my mind but i dont think it will..Im still getting use to the wayu things go and somethings are sooo ridiculous..Getting to germany is the most confusing i really need help to understand it and maybe how to go about things to rush the process if any body could help id greatly appreciate it..Cause the feeling of going at this alone is not a good one..I love my husband with all my heart hes the best thing that ever happened to me he showed me tht not all guys are the same and hes been there all along it just took us awhile to realize i love you baby <3

Come home soon lyrics

 COME HOME SOON

I put away the groceries
And I take my daily bread
I dream of your arms around me
As I tuck the kids in bed

I don't know what you're doin'
And I don't know where you are
But I look up at that great big sky
And I hope you're wishin' on that same
bright star

I wonder, I pray

[Chorus:]
And I sleep alone
I cry alone
And it's so hard livin' here on my own
So please, come home soon
(Come home soon)

I know that we're together
Even though we're far apart
And I'll wear our lucky penny 'round my neck
Pressed to my heart

I wonder, I pray

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:]
I still imagine your touch
It's beautiful missing something that much
But sometimes love needs a fighting chance
So I'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance

I wonder, I pray

[Second Chorus:]
I sleep alone
I cry alone
Without you this house is not a home
So please, come home soon

[Third Chorus:]
I walk alone
I try alone
I'll wait for you, don't want to die alone
So please, come home soon

Come home soon
Come home soon

      I really love this song..It makes me miss him terribley but i lve the song.. 

MIssing my soldier :(

     So im pretty new to this blogging thing..Im not to sure what to do exactly..I figured it would really help me out tho while my husband is away..Im recently married on march 8th to my wonderful husband who is a u.s army soldier..Its taking some time getting use to him being gone all the time..We've been married almost 5 months and Ive only seen him 3 weeks out of it..Its unbelievably hard with out him..Hes currently stationed in Germany and has been there since may..Its been quite difficult on getting things together to even get the process started getting me over there..Its like one minute it seems as if everything coming together and then the next everything falling apart again..Hes at some mission training and qualification thing rite now and has about 20 some days left before hes back at base..Were hoping to have me in Germany by September but im not holding my breath,,I try so hard to stay positive but its sooo not easy..And he stays sooo strong but it gets to him too and its so hard to help him through it when im not there..I feel like theres much more i should be doing even though i know there really isnt at this point..I love and miss you baby soooo damn much <3 If any one has ne sugestions feel free i deffinately need the help. <3